Jewwario a.k.a Justin Carmical R.I.P. (1971-2014)

Justin Carmical R.I.P. (1971-2014)

First I would like to offer my sincerest condolences to both his family and friends during this tragic time.  I've wanted to say something about this over the past couple of days since I heard about Justin's unfortunate passing, but I couldn't get my thoughts together to speak about this.  I was just so shocked. I had seen Justin on some of his videos (You Can Play This, and You Can Eat This, amongst others), and especially loved him as the Goblin King from Labyrinth in Suburban Knights over at That Guy With the Glasses.  When I went to my first MAGFest in 2013, I saw him at a distance with Pat the NES Punk and totally geeked out. I was so blown away that he was less than 10 feet from me, but was too shy to actually approach him.  Later I bumped into him in the vendor room and he frowned at me every time, and I wondered what I did to upset this man that I enjoyed on the internet.  Once again my shyness prevented me from interacting with him.  This year at MAGFest 2014, I was at the RetrowareTV table in the vendor room less than two feet from him and again couldn't speak. I totally froze up. It was after this trip that I decided that next MAGFest I was gonna force myself to let him know how much I admired him and enjoyed the videos I had seen him in. And then I get the news that he had died and it totally wrecked me. I cried several times over the next few days, and  I couldn't figure out what happened. I watched his video "You Are Not Stupid" and the many tribute videos from his friends and co workers and found out what a wonderful man he truly was.  I regret not taking that chance and speaking to Justin. It's a regret that I'll carry for the rest of my life.  And as a person who has suffered almost crippling depression and suicidal thoughts, all I can say is don't let whatever is bothering you beat you. Don't take your own life.  It can be hard at times, but you have to find something, anything to hold on to to keep you here. There has to be something in your life worth fighting for. Never give up, because suicide is never the answer.  I'm sorry I never got to speak to you Justin, and I just hope that wherever you are you are at peace.